too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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