My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
