i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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