my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
