I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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