If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
