I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
