DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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