college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
