so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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