He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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