brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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