If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
