Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
