if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
