Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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