I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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