marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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