Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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