i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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