go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
