she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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