Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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