Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
