This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just high enough for therapy.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
