did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
