I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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