So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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