Sponge bath it is.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
