Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
