So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
