don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How drunk are you?
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