id be glad to
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
