Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We were destined to go to rehab together
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
