Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
