I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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