I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
