a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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