you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
