guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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