The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
