i just google imaged poop.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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