I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
