You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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