but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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