Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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