I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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