But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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