Screwed.edu
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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