if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
