either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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