I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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